Ukoku Sanzo (ukoku_sanzo) wrote in womanism,
Ukoku Sanzo

What makes a strong woman? The gender stereotype is that men are strong, and embody strong characteristics physically and mentally, while women are weak, interferer, and in need of constant assistance. Feminism is the belief in the social, political, and economic equality of the sexes. This is where I get confused. How can a woman be socially strong AS a woman?

Let me give you an example. When I was young I decided that I wanted to start improving myself. I wanted to be strong, not particularly literally in any physical way, but as a person. I’ve never been the submissive girly girl, and while there’s nothing wrong with that for some people, I refused to be the male interpretation of a woman. I refused to be weak, and in need of “a prince” to “save me” and tell me what to do, as well as how to do it. I know inside I’m just as capable as any boy, and I wanted to prove it. I lacked strong female role models, so it was a hit the ground running and learn by your self experience. Since boys were respected naturally more then I seemed to be, I thought if I acted like a boy, I’d get more respect, and I wouldn’t be considered a weak female. Well, this worked out fairly well for a couple of years; I was “one of the guys”. I dressed like a boy in my day to day life, and when I came online, and signed into my instant messenger, I pretended to be a boy. After all, can you really beat that instant respect and trust? All of a sudden if you sleep around, you’re cool, not a “ho” or a “slut”. Guys instantly trust you, and are more willing then not to help you with whatever you need. Your opinions are more easily accepted. “They sky’s green? Well, he’s got a penis he must be right.”

But recently, I guess I’ve really come to question that choice. Are men really all that better? I no longer believe that clinging to a male dominated society’s idea of “strength” is the right thing to do. It was after an incident with a male friend. I don’t blame him really, for being mad at me, but his response was totally uncalled for. He’s a guy I know online, and I trusted him enough to tell him my true gender. I’ve known him for about a year, and during that time I’ve been kind, caring, supportive, helpful, and loyal to him, and to a friend of his who I’ve been dating. He instantly comes at me with “Oh so you’re just some ho out for [Friends name]’s money huh? You know what? I hate you.” That was… shocking. I’ve done nothing to give him that sort of idea about me. He’s no longer my friend; I don’t need friends like that. However, I don’t want to lose any more friends. I want to be honest about myself, and at the same time, I want to convey that I can be a strong person worthy of respect.

So back to my question, what makes a woman strong? What are the qualities and characteristics that provoke respect for her? Is there a way to be self confident in a feminine way? Or is that some kind of oxymoron? Is there a way to be just as good as the boys with out actually being a boy?

I really encourage your responses; clarify for me what the ideal respectable woman is.
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