Let me give you an example. When I was young I decided that I wanted to start improving myself. I wanted to be strong, not particularly literally in any physical way, but as a person. I’ve never been the submissive girly girl, and while there’s nothing wrong with that for some people, I refused to be the male interpretation of a woman. I refused to be weak, and in need of “a prince” to “save me” and tell me what to do, as well as how to do it. I know inside I’m just as capable as any boy, and I wanted to prove it. I lacked strong female role models, so it was a hit the ground running and learn by your self experience. Since boys were respected naturally more then I seemed to be, I thought if I acted like a boy, I’d get more respect, and I wouldn’t be considered a weak female. Well, this worked out fairly well for a couple of years; I was “one of the guys”. I dressed like a boy in my day to day life, and when I came online, and signed into my instant messenger, I pretended to be a boy. After all, can you really beat that instant respect and trust? All of a sudden if you sleep around, you’re cool, not a “ho” or a “slut”. Guys instantly trust you, and are more willing then not to help you with whatever you need. Your opinions are more easily accepted. “They sky’s green? Well, he’s got a penis he must be right.”
But recently, I guess I’ve really come to question that choice. Are men really all that better? I no longer believe that clinging to a male dominated society’s idea of “strength” is the right thing to do. It was after an incident with a male friend. I don’t blame him really, for being mad at me, but his response was totally uncalled for. He’s a guy I know online, and I trusted him enough to tell him my true gender. I’ve known him for about a year, and during that time I’ve been kind, caring, supportive, helpful, and loyal to him, and to a friend of his who I’ve been dating. He instantly comes at me with “Oh so you’re just some ho out for [Friends name]’s money huh? You know what? I hate you.” That was… shocking. I’ve done nothing to give him that sort of idea about me. He’s no longer my friend; I don’t need friends like that. However, I don’t want to lose any more friends. I want to be honest about myself, and at the same time, I want to convey that I can be a strong person worthy of respect.
So back to my question, what makes a woman strong? What are the qualities and characteristics that provoke respect for her? Is there a way to be self confident in a feminine way? Or is that some kind of oxymoron? Is there a way to be just as good as the boys with out actually being a boy?
I really encourage your responses; clarify for me what the ideal respectable woman is.